June 1, Home
"How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard."
Our 11++ year old dog passed away while we were in Cebu.
With blurry eyes and blurry heart, I still tried to enjoy the rest of the trip - we had less than 24 hours left till our flight home anyway. It was the worst. From time to time, I had to excuse myself to go to the CR. While having coffee, during a tour, while in the cab, I will cry anywhere whenever I remember Ting. My heart was broken, I've lost a family, and I wasn't there for her.
Ting has survived many sickness, but the latest one involved a lot of vet visits. Whenever I learn that Ting doesn't want to eat her food, I would make sure I won't go home without a takeout of her favorite-ever meal (chicken na may buto). The last few times, though, she barely nibbled the meat.
Ting, healthier, and super sweet.
I will remember Ting as the sweetest. I will greet her every time I am outside the house, before leaving and when I get back home. "Bye Ting!" "O, kamusta Tiiing! How's your day!?? Boring?" "May nakaaway ka nanaman bang pusa?", hehe. I will give her my free time, play with her after taking blog product shots in our garden, pat her head and tummy because she is a good and sweet girl and she enjoys it. Every time I will leave the house, Ting's paw will reach for my leg as if not wanting to let go, I've posted several videos of this on Snapchat! Now I felt bad that I wasn't able to save these Snaps. :( Ting is not the type who will lick your hand or face, but she'll always crawl her way to your feet for attention. And then one time, I had a free day so we played longer. I was rubbing her head as usual, when I felt Ting's hot tongue lick my hand! I knew then that we were each other's favorites!
When Ting was already suffering from her tumor, I will really take my time outside just to look at her and talk to her. I've done my research, took her to the vet, etc. and although chemo was brought up, the family decided to just stick with the meds. Now I feel that we should have went for the chemo, it might have lengthened Ting's life. :(
I will tell Ting that she's "The cutest dog in town!", "my baby!", and that she is "healthy and strong!". I've been saying these for a long time nadin, out loud, even though my family and kapitbahays will think I'm a weirdo. Hehe! During the latter days, it was also my way of staying positive about my old dog's condition, and I think it worked as Ting became a fighter. Ting lived a long, loved, and exciting life. In fairness, she had a fair-share of crazy cat / bird adventures and stories-to-tell.
One night, just a week or 2 ago, I went out to visit her. I saw that Ting's plate was still full, so I started talking to her again. "Kain ka Ting ha!" Ting stopped being her clingy self since the tumor, she wouldn't crawl na to our feet whenever we arrive home. It felt sad, but at least she'll try to wiggle her tail padin whenever I call her name and wave my hand back and forth, back and forth. She will respond with her tail, but hindi na siya tumatayo. I will never forget this one night, I squatted about an arm-length next to Ting so I can look at her eyes and tell her that I love her.
Playtime and even "ootd" with Ting:
The day that we were about to leave for Cebu, I looked at her before entering our car and waved "Bye Ting!", and saw her looked at me, then to her tumor, then back at me. Now I feel that it was her way of saying that her tumor is already really painful. :(
Our delayed plane has reached it’s final descent last night at around 11pm already, almost 24 hours since Ting died. I started to overthink and thought of what was going on inside my favorite dog’s head when her tumor bursted, while waiting for us, and my vision of the city lights started to become hazy.
“We will dim the lights so you can have a better view of the city,” announced the flight attendant, as I gazed outside at the blurry city, trying to figure out if our plane was passing over Alabang area - a bit closer to home if only we can land anywhere. I am almost home Ting! I thought to myself. Although I knew we were too late.
Paw prints! :( General clean-up earlier, had to wash the floors and keep Ting's food plate. House felt extra quiet, even our other dog Keeks looked sad.
Have You a dog in Heaven, Lord?
Is there room for just one more?
Cause my little dog died today;
He'll be waiting at Your door.
Please take him into Heaven, Lord.
And keep him there for me.
Just feed him, pet him, LOVE HIM, Lord,
That's all he'll ask of Thee.
Is there room for just one more?
Cause my little dog died today;
He'll be waiting at Your door.
Please take him into Heaven, Lord.
And keep him there for me.
Just feed him, pet him, LOVE HIM, Lord,
That's all he'll ask of Thee.
-Anon
We love you Ting! Thanks for the unconditional love.. I know it will take a long long time for me to recover. I miss you! :(
8 Comments
Nakakaiyak naman ang post na ito. Na-remember ko tuloy when our own dog, Gwen, passed away in 2013. She had been with us for almost 7 years at that time. Ang hirap pala when you've been used to your pet's presence sa bawat araw. She was very malambing too. Take comfort nalang in the knowledge na may doggie angel ka na.:) *hugs*
ReplyDeleteThank you Rose, I will put this in mind every time I miss Ting. :/
ReplyDeleteHope you feel better soon!
ReplyDeleteThank you!
DeleteI only have two pets now our turtle, Kang and Kong and they've been with us for almost 10 years and my heart will really break. I stopped myself from crying while reading your article (because I'm in the office). So sad that Ting had to go especially you and your family is in Cebu, Miss Ana. She's a new angel watching you in heaven. Virtual hug Miss Ana.
ReplyDeleteAww thank you Pau! Iba talaga ang love for pets.
DeleteReally hard to let go of such wonderful creatures. :( She's in dog heaven na. She's happier.
ReplyDeleteYou placed it right - they are really wonderful creatures.
DeleteYour turn! Always excited to read your comments! :)