Now Playing: World Spins Madly On
I am such an open book, and I wouldn't deny the fact that the past weeks has been so hard for me. And just when I thought I couldn't bear anymore problem at this fragile state, the world gave me another challenge that pretty much broke me down and tore me to pieces. I was hanging on to "good vibes" yesterday afternoon before getting out of the house to meet Reg to hand her accessories for a shoot, and Honey for our Monte Carlo premiere night I was super looking forward to...When mom texted me that my lola passed away. I didn't know how to react at first, because days before this I even thought "Lord please naman alam mong hindi ko na kakayanin ang deaths and sickness, please please make my family and friends and even our dogs healthy." ... And then there goes the tragic news.
I can't describe how it felt to be so tired already, and then another bigger stone will be placed in my weak back. I was gasping for air, and gulped them like being drowned. I realized I was a mess. So I took a deep breath, tried to calm down, and went out the house for my responsibilities.
There's so much things I want to say, but right now I just want to thank Honey for being there for me when I most needed someone to talk to. I was in Makati because I thought I can be strong enough to deal with my responsibilities amidst what happened, but in the middle of my going-about, I just had to go to GB4's restroom and lock myself in one of the cubicles and just broke down and silently cried there. I was hopeless. Honey might not be physically present, but she kept on calling and texting me...She made me strong, and made me realize that no one will pick me up from this mess but myself. I was able to sleep well last night because of her love and care and reminders. I don't know what I'll do without this girl! :)
I know that the world will spin madly on, life goes on like the hustle and bustle of busy Makati yesterday no matter how desperate I look or how depressed I feel...No one will really stop the time for me. But I can create benchmarks out of things like declaring it's MIDYEAR already--where I can say to myself that the worst is over. I'd like to think that, hey, here's another chance to begin again.
Thank you...
To Yanna for this POST, something to smile about when I woke up today. :)
Thank you to my Full Moon kabasagan girls, Jam, Gi, Maje...Something to look forward to and make me HAPPY in the coming weeks...<3
Thank you to the love I got from my Blog Friends through Twitter and text...I hope you realize that the words you're sending me meant so much to me and my strength.
And to my Lola Mameng...I will miss you so much, and your apo couldn't imagine going home in Tanauan without you in our house. I love you, and thank you so much for always reaching out to me and Cea, we will miss hanging out with you.
I am such an open book, and I wouldn't deny the fact that the past weeks has been so hard for me. And just when I thought I couldn't bear anymore problem at this fragile state, the world gave me another challenge that pretty much broke me down and tore me to pieces. I was hanging on to "good vibes" yesterday afternoon before getting out of the house to meet Reg to hand her accessories for a shoot, and Honey for our Monte Carlo premiere night I was super looking forward to...When mom texted me that my lola passed away. I didn't know how to react at first, because days before this I even thought "Lord please naman alam mong hindi ko na kakayanin ang deaths and sickness, please please make my family and friends and even our dogs healthy." ... And then there goes the tragic news.
I can't describe how it felt to be so tired already, and then another bigger stone will be placed in my weak back. I was gasping for air, and gulped them like being drowned. I realized I was a mess. So I took a deep breath, tried to calm down, and went out the house for my responsibilities.
There's so much things I want to say, but right now I just want to thank Honey for being there for me when I most needed someone to talk to. I was in Makati because I thought I can be strong enough to deal with my responsibilities amidst what happened, but in the middle of my going-about, I just had to go to GB4's restroom and lock myself in one of the cubicles and just broke down and silently cried there. I was hopeless. Honey might not be physically present, but she kept on calling and texting me...She made me strong, and made me realize that no one will pick me up from this mess but myself. I was able to sleep well last night because of her love and care and reminders. I don't know what I'll do without this girl! :)
I know that the world will spin madly on, life goes on like the hustle and bustle of busy Makati yesterday no matter how desperate I look or how depressed I feel...No one will really stop the time for me. But I can create benchmarks out of things like declaring it's MIDYEAR already--where I can say to myself that the worst is over. I'd like to think that, hey, here's another chance to begin again.
Thank you...
To Yanna for this POST, something to smile about when I woke up today. :)
Thank you to my Full Moon kabasagan girls, Jam, Gi, Maje...Something to look forward to and make me HAPPY in the coming weeks...<3
Thank you to the love I got from my Blog Friends through Twitter and text...I hope you realize that the words you're sending me meant so much to me and my strength.
And to my Lola Mameng...I will miss you so much, and your apo couldn't imagine going home in Tanauan without you in our house. I love you, and thank you so much for always reaching out to me and Cea, we will miss hanging out with you.
Lola Mameng and baby-me on her lap :)
Mom talking with lola :)
My new angel, who will watch over for me, and make sure I'll be doing ok from now on. :,)
Made by Ickay, one of my youngest cousins <3
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11 Comments
This is a very heartwarming tribute for your grandmother. Sorry for your loss. May this event in your life shape you and make you stronger :-)
ReplyDeleteKristine
InstyleCebu
The Glamarazzi
Our sincerest condolences to you and your family Ana. Just know that she is in a much better place now. Be strong dear. :)
ReplyDelete-Nix-
I am in tears reading this sis. I know saying she's in a better place now brings little comfort to the nagging feeling of loss of a grieving heart, but yes, she's there, watching over you. I love you sis, I'm always just a text away if you need someone to talk to.
ReplyDeleteHi Beb, this post is indeed filled with love for your lola and I feel really sad that we all couldn't be physically present for you. I guess when news comes..sudden talaga and we can't do anything about it, but pray for the best. I pray that your lola might find peace wherever she is now and I'm very much sure that she will be looking after you and guide you through the times that you find it hard to cope. I'm sure she'll be there. :) Love you, beb!
ReplyDeleteI texted you na kanina but I just feel like posting a comment pa din.. Basta for the nth time, always remember na madami nagmamahal sayo.. Isa na ako dun siempre.. I'll always be here for you.. Kahit umalis pa ako ng Pinas, meron naman text and Fb and Twitter and our blogs.. Hindi mawawala ang communication naten.. I have faith in you and I know you can overcome all of this.. This will only make you stronger, dont worry.. One day, you will look back at all of this and mapapa-smile ka nalang and sobrang mabibilib ka sa sarili mo. :) Love you Anagon!! :)
ReplyDeleteKristine: Thank you so much. I really pray and I am determined that that's the outcome of all these...A better and stronger Anagon :) Thank you thankyou...
ReplyDeleteNix: Thank you so much, I really appreciate your regards and prayers :) God bless you!
Krissy: Thank you thank you sis...Alam mo what comforted me? When you texted that you're praying for me and my dreamless sleep tonight.. I really appreciate that you thought of me before you slept...Ang sarap ng feeling that knowing someone cares. I love you sis, thank you!
ReplyDeleteAva: Hi beb! I guess you're right with that, kelan ba magiging ok ang news ng death, never naman..I guess I just need to be extra strong when problems rain on me, pero super thank you sa inyo ko na feel yung care....I love you beb, can't wait to see you and talk with you again! :)
ReplyDeleteHoney: I found comfort in knowing you care, thank you thank you for making me feel that..Lalo na ngayong mas kailangan ko siya. Super salamat sa love. Ang galing lang ng timing ni God na kahit malapit ka na umalis, naging mas closer pa tayo...It's a blessing. Thank you Honey and I love you! :)
ReplyDeleteCondolences to you and your family. But I just want to say that ang cute mo as a baby!!!
ReplyDeleteMichelle: Thank you!!! :) :D
ReplyDeleteYour turn! Always excited to read your comments! :)